I Am Being Watched!

Yougaizz, this is serious! I started sensing that I am being watched two months back. But things got pretty serious in the last couple of weeks! I am being watched ALL THE TIME that it gets so creepy and freaks me out like crazy.

I think it all started when the Minion was  around 3.5 months old or atleast that is when I noticed it. I was having my usual cup of evening coffee! She was observing me as I drank my coffee, her eyes following with such focus from the mug to my mouth. I casually brushed it off telling her she needs to wait for a really long time to have her first coffee.

But then couple of weeks back, I noticed that very same pair of eyes watching me all the time - when I eat, when I brush my hair, when I sneeze, when I cough, when I use my mobile phone, when I apply my lip balm and yes, literally all the time! It was no longer funny.

You may wonder what the big deal is about it now and all babies do the same. Yes. All babies do that. And that is why it is a huge deal. I am sure every parent will have a spark of the moment at some point or the other when they realize it and this is probably mine!

It hit upon me how much I have taught her  these 5 months even without my knowledge and how much I have influenced her with no intentions at all.

Believe me, I am no preacher. I don't think I have ever preached about anything in this space but this time I am going to - not to anyone else but myself.

 When you give it a serious thought, babies are just like a sponge soaking in anything and everything that is offered to them. Don't they?

Husband and I joke around often at home calling each other crazy etc. Although we know we are just goofing around, I very much doubt if the Minion knows it. We most certainly don't want her to call either of us crazy or any other name anytime soon.

The other day I caught her staring at me while I was browsing on my phone! Am I not teaching her that it is okay to get distracted when you are with company? Can I even complain when she is hooked to her phone without responding to me when she grows up?

If I leave behind the toys without clearing after her playtime, should I not be prepared to see her do the same in future? Can I even expect her to clear her own mess?

Am I not setting the standards here of what is acceptable and what is not!

As scary as it may sound to me, I play a huge part in  shaping her 'normal'

So when I try to evaluate myself -

I try my best to reduce phone usage as much as possible when she is awake. But that is not enough. I need to work on it more however tough it might be.

I need to make sure I eat on time and most importantly  the 'right' food at the 'right' place. I must remind myself that couch is not the place to eat. This is the phase that will set her eating habits and I really want to make it right!

I really need to watch my words. Thankfully, neither do I use swear words often nor do I fight with husband bringing the roof down, but I must definitely be more conscious of my choice of words (definitely not use the word '$#!t' which I tend to use when I don't get things my way!)

I have always been generous with "please", "thank you" and "excuse me" but I must put more conscious efforts to keep doing it day to day basis.

Some may think I am over reacting as she is just 5 months old.  But all I know is I can't undo the lessons I have unintentionally taught her these 5 months but I can definitely make up for it if I start NOW. 

Changes do not happen overnight. It needs practice. There is no time better than NOW and I really don't want her first word to be '$#!t'.